Beethoven’s Piano Sonata

Playing the piano was one of my earliest memories, and I was encouraged to practise and have lessons until well into my teens… and then I stopped.  This was probably because I discovered ‘going out’ and it no longer felt cool to be staying in practising the piano; however, the benefits of learning such a skill at an early age, means that it’s never forgotten.

So, when I heard the beautiful sounds of Beethoven’s Piano Sonate op.13 “Pathétique“ played by an actress on the film The Magic of Belle Isle, it inspired me to find a copy of the piano music and attempt to play it.  It has four flats (music speak!) and therefore a bit tricky, but with practice I’ll get better.

Getting in the moment

I’ve also been listening to Eckhart Tolle‘s audio book called The Power of Now which is teaching me to live in the present moment. This has made me feel so differently about playing the piano.  It’s no longer a quick ‘let’s see if I can still play’, but instead I’ve enjoyed the peaceful feeling whilst playing and have got lost in the moment (much like the feeling I get with writing).  In the ten minutes a day that I’ve been practising, I haven’t put pressure on myself to get all the notes right – that will come in time – but the piece comes alive when I do play them correctly.

I would like to thank my dad for encouraging me to read music and play the piano from an early age – I suppose deep down he knew that it would bring me joy again one day.

Have you ever been inspired by something you have read or listened to, which made you pick up something again that you haven’t done in years?

Until next time…

Sandra

Children, just like adults, need a sounding board to get things out of their system without judgement or criticism.  The more space and time you allow for this, the more they open up.  Just asking them questions like ‘is there anything you want to talk about?’ can spark off all sorts of conversations.  I also find that sitting in silence is better than offering advice – the silence allows them to work things out in their tiny minds whilst you are close by.

After talking to my two daughters at bedtime a few weeks ago, I could have easily said to one of them “you don’t need to worry about sitting on a table full of boys,” and to the other “so what if all the class helped with the contact books when it was only supposed to be four of you”. Instead I listened to their worries and tried to encourage each one to come up with ways in which they could deal with what was upsetting them.

I believe that encouraging children to come up with their own solutions gives them confidence, and allowing them to run things by you at any time gives them comfort. Chances are that the issues will go away by themselves anyway, and even if they don’t, at least you will be giving them the opportunity to open up to you regularly.

With the fast pace of life, it can sometimes be difficult to find the time to stop and listen; however, let your children know that they can run things by you at any time – even if it’s just for five minutes at bedtime.  I’m going to try and listen a lot more this year – who knows what I missed in 2012…

Happy New Year!

Until next time

Sandra

My plan when she’s like this is for me to remain calm, but I always seem to end up raising my voice and having conversations with her that lead nowhere. It feels like we’re going through the days of the ‘toddler tantrums’ again, but at a whole new level. 

Suspecting that I wasn’t helping the situation by being reactive, intervening, and arguing back, I knew I needed a new approach – FAST.  I talked to friends and work colleagues (who have been there) and also went in search for a self-development book which would provide me with a few new skills (any excuse to buy a new book!).

At lunchtime yesterday, I stumbled upon a book called Parenting Without the Power Struggles (Raising Happy Resilient Kids While Staying Cool, Calm and Collected) by Susan Stiffelman.  I don’t know about you, but sometimes book titles just grab my attention, and before I even opened the book, I knew I was going to love it. 

The cover had a nice calming picture of a family of four standing in a line on the beach, holding hands, and although you can’t see their faces as they are facing the sea – you just know they’re happy.  My instinct was telling me to just buy it.  I flicked to the index and when I saw that there were so many references to ‘frustruation’ (both for the parent as well as the child), I knew this book was for me.

The first page I read taught me a very important lesson –that we must allow our children to truly feel their frustrations so they can learn to cope and adapt.  How simple but powerful is that?

Our natural instinct as parents is to cuddle the tears away so that they will be happy, and tell them everything is going to be okay.  We try to make their frustrations go away by distracting them and taking their mind off it and never actually allow them the space and time to deal with it.

“When parents intervene because their child is frustrated – believing they are doing so out of love and care – they prevent him [or her] from learning how to adapt”.

Susan Stiffleman, Parenting Without the Power Struggles

I’m now realising that whilst both of my daughters are learning to deal with their frustrations and adapting, I just need to be there for them; be in charge of them, but not intervene, and certainly not try to control the outcome. 

How many times have you seen your son or daughter cry because someone won’t play with them or they are arguing about who’s turn it is in a game, and then the next minute he or she is running around and laughing with that same person?  In this example, you haven’t intervened and he or she learnt to deal with it and adapt.

“Tears actually release stress hormones and toxins” says Susan Stiffelman.  Maybe that’s what they mean by ‘getting it out of your system!’

I’m sure this is one of many techniques that people use and maybe it wouldn’t work for everyone, but it certainly did for me - I was able to successfully put it to use last night and again this morning!

So, my question is, how you deal (or have dealt) with your child’s frustrations and anger?

Until next time…

Sandra

Reblogged from Seaswift's Blog:

A moving GIF showing a basic 3 ball-cascade juggling pattern: good for juggling explanation. (Photo credit: Wikipedia)

I apologise for the lack of updates in the last few weeks, but I’ve been busy editing my book that’s being published later this year.  This post is to gather your thoughts on a potential change. 

The title of the book A Gift for Stressed & Busy Parents was niggling me a bit – some thought it was a bit too negative and I also didn’t feel it was sending the right message across.  So, after gathering thoughts from friends and family and running a few titles passed them, I’ve settled with the title Juggling Life, Kids & You, because that’s what parents do isn’t it? 

The purpose of Juggling Life, Kids & You is to help busy parents get through difficult and stressful situations by encouraging the use of simple tips and techniques for a happier, easier and more in control life.  Having a balance of ‘work’, ‘play’ and ‘relaxation’ along with successfully juggling everything else, is the framework around which this book is written. 

 Do you want…

• More time with the kids/partner/friends and enjoy it?
• Some help around the house?
• To be calmer?
• To be more organised?
• To take more control of your time?
• A nice tidy house with everything in its place?
• To be happier?
• To know where you are spending all your time?
• To be a good example to your children?
• To be able to snap out of a bad mood?
• More time for you?
• To feel less stressed at work?
• To deal better with your child’s tantrums?

Juggling Life, Kids & You answers the above questions and so much more…

I’ll keep you posted on progress over the coming weeks.

So, what do you think of the new title?

Until next time…

It’s packed with many real-life snippets of information from other mums (including me).  Also included in the book are the benefits of pregnancy massage from Marianne Hale, hypnosis for birth from Paula Teake, advice about relationship changes from psychotherapist, Eliot Green, and so much more.  She doesn’t leave the men out either – many women have shared stories of how their partners felt about the whole experience of being a dad, supporting their partner and bonding as a family. 

Please visit Natasha’s new site www.frombumptobabybook.co.uk where you can find out more as well as buy the book.  It’s also available on amazon in e-book form.

I thoroughly enjoyed myself at the book launch party tonight and have my own signed copy of From Bump to Baby.  Thank you Natasha for a fantastic evening and well done.  I just know it’s going to be a great success.

Until next time…

Sandra

One particular item that I’m staring at right now, is a large flat zipped storage bag containing pillows (I think).  It’s balancing on two other ‘useful’ cloth-type storage bags which are further balancing on two lidded storage bins. 

It’s great that things are stored away (out of sight, out of mind and all that), but I don’t exactly know what’s in all of them…and why are they in the corner of the room - it’s like they are an extension of a store cupboard!  I could be using that space for something else…like a chair or a bookshelf.

My attention is diverted to my right, to a basket containing a neat pile of papers, binders and magazines, topped with a balancing tissue box.  This clutter castle is balancing on my large Collins Dictionary which I would love to use but can’t get to it.

To avoid looking around the rest of the room, I take out a ‘relevant’ book from my bookshelf: Cut Your Clutter with Feng Shui by Karen Kingston.  This particular quote makes me feel quite refreshed:

“Clearing the clutter allows the fresh winds of inspiration
to enter your home and your life”. 
Karen Kingston, Clear Your Clutter with Feng Shui

So, my question to you today is: Do you have clutter castles around you that you would prefer were out of sight, making it easier for inspiration to enter your home and life?

Until next time…

Clutter filled every corner, surface and most of the floor.  Having been on ‘holiday at home’ this week, my plan was to tackle just one room a day so that I could spend the rest of each day relaxing and being with the family.  I started the week with the ‘easier to tidy’ rooms, but today this particular room finally got to me!

Putting off tackling the clutter

Whenever I take time off I’m faced with this scenario – same clutter, different room.  I knew that this time I wanted to tackle it differently, not shuffle things around putting them in a neater pile or different box AND I wanted to do it quickly. 

Yesterday, I sat in the room and had a look around, remembering a conversation that I had with my parents that morning.  We were talking about how long it takes to sort through belongings that have ended up in the spare room (or junk room) and how each item needs a decision.

It suddenly hit me (I love ‘ah ha’ moments) - I was putting off this onerous task because I didn’t know what to do with the stuff (which is mostly mine I might add – I’m a bit of a hoarder).  I also find it hard to make decisions about whether I want to keep something or not.  I decided that I had two choices: do it the short way to get the stuff out of my space, or do it the long way which I knew I didn’t want to face right now.

The short way – I would pick up each item and ask myself one just question:  Do I want this item to stay in the house? If the answer was no, it would go in a box marked ‘garage’ (unless I had the confidence to throw it straight in a rubbish sack).  I would also put a date on the box(es) one year from now and if I end up not looking in them in that time, I would get rid of the items somehow (that scares me just writing it!).

The long way – I would pick up each item and ask myself four questions.  Do I want this item in the house? Do I want to sell this item?  Do I want to give this item to charity? Does this item need fixing?  (Obviously the rubbish bag is present for things I know I don’t want).  I’d then deal with each category accordingly.

My goal

To have a tidy and uncluttered room by the time I picked the kids up from school. Scenario one seemed achievable in the two to three hours that I had allocated.  To go with scenario two was a much bigger beast.

I went with scenario one.

The result

Within one hour I had boxed and bagged up so much stuff and before I even had time to think about it, I took it all to the garage.  This motivated me to do the next step – to reorganise the remaining items.

Making the decision to go with scenario one helped me get started and allowed me to achieve what I wanted to do in just 3 hours (before and after pictures to be added at a later date if I’m brave enough!).  I now have a clear space and a clear mind.

What clutter challenges do you face?

Until next time…

Sandra

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Balancing writing, housework and other activities My Writing Notebook.com

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A few days ago I was listening to an audio programme by Tony Robbins (self-help author and motivational speaker) called Lessons in Mastery and although I’ve listened to it before, I felt like it was the first time I had heard this particular message.  It was about asking better questions in order to change your focus.  This is so easy once you begin practising it; it’s all linked to positive thinking which I do try whenever I can anyway.

A situation where I had the opportunity to practise this was yesterday, when I got the whole family out of bed to take me to the train station (as it would mean that I could leave slightly later than getting the bus down there).  Things were chaotic around the house as everyone was half asleep and I was so tired that I ended up tying a hair band in my daughter’s hair, got it caught and she ended up crying.  To cut a long story short, I made it to the station with a few minutes to spare only to find that the train was cancelled and the next one (in 35 minutes) was showing as delayed. 

I had the beginning of a headache and felt tired as it had been a long week; the station was packed and it didn’t look like I was going to get a seat.  I thought back at the programme I had listened to and saw this situation as a test to check if I had listened properly. 

I did started by thinking ‘Why was this train cancelled?  Now I’m going to be late for work!’.  I even said to someone next to me ‘I’ve rushed down here and got everyone out of bed!’.  Then I stopped and thought about how wrong my focus was.  I changed my question to: ‘How can I use this time?  I wonder if could get a seat somewhere in the station’.  And then as if by magic, a seat became available and I ran to sit down.  Still feeling tired and a bit grumpy, I rephrased my question ‘How can I use this time to my benefit?’. 

The answer was easy; for the first time this week I had brought my computer with me so that I could type up some notes on the train instead of catching up with sleep, so I got it out my bag and typed two blogs and edited another, all in half an hour  (something that would normally have taken me so much longer) and whilst I was doing it, I forgot all about the delayed train.  In fact when it arrived, I wished it had been delayed even more as I was in full swing.

As Tony Robbins says “Ask yourself better questions”.  Try it – I believe that you can apply this to any situation.

A big thank you to all my readers – my stats are almost 1000 for this blog.

Enjoy your weekend

Sandra
Freelance Writer and author of My OpenLeaf Journey
For other examples of my work please visit www.sandramadeira.com

On the eve of going back to work, I wanted to fit in as much as I could into today. I was up early listening to a meditation track, then had a whole hour of writing time. Just as everyone was getting up I went out on a thirty minute brisk walk.

It was fantastic outside; there was a cold bite to the air at first, which made me go back for my gloves and hat, but the glimse of the sun made up for it! There was hardly anyone about and it was so peaceful. On returning home one of my daughters said “I don’t like it when you go out for a walk as you smell of outside (whatever that means).

Anyway, I did a large jigsaw with the girls for the rest of the morning and it was lovely just chatting to them (something I will miss tomorrow!). It’s amazing that I’ve actually got time in the day to type this up, but as I was about to mop the floors they insisted that mopping was something they have been wanting to do for ages! It didn’t take much to persuade me to hand over the mop in exchange for some blogging time!

It’s been great spending time with them over the last ten days and I wish it didn’t have to end – oh well back to work tomorrow. Roll on the weekend…

Until next time…

Sandra
Freelance Writer|
www.sandramadeira.com
www.tipsandluxuries.com
www.mywritingnotebook.com