I really struggled to write anything this evening. I’ve done loads today, but couldn’t get any sentences out in any particular order to write about any of it. I always start a blog with the title and then the writing just flows, but even that wasn’t helping. I started three or four posts with various titles and eventually stopped and went to brush my teeth.
Whilst I was brushing away I thought about how I feel like I’m pedalling backwards at the moment, so started a new post with that exact title in an attempt to inspire me to write. It worked.
My day was actually lovely until I started stressing
I’ve actually had a very good day. My daughters told me last night that they fancied coming out for a walk with me this morning. It was a lovely fifty minute walk together in the early morning sunshine. We didn’t go out until around 9am so there were a few more people out exercising than I was used to. Nevertheless, they all kept their distance. Although it’s very necessary in these unprecedented times, don’t you think that it all feels very unnatural, having to cross the road every time you see someone coming the other way?
After the walk we had breakfast and then I spent some quality time in the kitchen with my eldest. We shared the dishwasher duties and then we peeled potatoes together in preparation for dinner. We laughed at a few episodes of friends whilst we were working away. Dinner was roast chicken which I haven’t cooked for a while and it was very tasty.
I sunbathed in the garden this afternoon and did some reading and meditation. We then skyped my mum and dad for an hour which was so lovely.
Then I had this feeling that I hadn’t done anything productive and went into the garage to flatten some more boxes and make some space. I returned back into the house after twenty minutes and that’s when I started to feel overwhelmed. Little things were starting to annoy me and I felt like I was trying to do too much. It was yet another mealtime and the stuff was all still there in the kitchen from lunchtime.
My lovely girls picked up on my anxiety and helped tidy up whilst I made toasted sandwiches for everyone.
Time to take control
I was reading an article by Jack Canfield on Twitter yesterday on Everyday Positive Thinking and I signed up for the pdf guide to read. In the guide you have to find the page that matches how you are feeling and read the actions underneath of ‘things to do now’ and ‘things to do later’. What I’ve just noticed is that the way I was feeling yesterday sent me to a different page to the way I’m feeling today, which gave me different actions to take.
Yesterday I was feeling overwhelmed with too many projects so I worked out that I need to prioritise and work out what I want to work on and just get on with it. Trust my instincts. Don’t try and do everything. Long term I may need to reassess my goals. This evening I was feeling stressed and anxious as I have a lot of ‘incompletes’ so I need to listen to my body, do some deep breathing and practise self-care. Long term I need to break things down into smaller steps and clean up things that I haven’t finished.
It’s perfect timing that I have the next couple of days off work. I’m going to try and finish things that I’ve started as well as knock items off my ‘to do’ lists that take fifteen minutes or less, as they are also really playing on my mind.
I’m going to get some rest now.