View frustrations as treasured moments

Posted on October 22, 2018 by

Life gets busy when you are keeping the home clean and tidy, and earning money from your day job. So much so, that you can blink and miss the short period of time that the children are small.

There are multiple things going on and when you look back it’s hard to forget the stress of being a working parent during those toddler and pre-teen years.

You think about how they clung onto you when you are out shopping, chatting with friends, or working from home. This may have made you feel frustrated and claustrophobic when you were so tired, stressed and trying to get on with ‘things’.

On reflection

As my girls are beginning their teenage years, I’m looking back at those moments and can see that things have been changing gradually. I knew that the running into my room for a cuddle as soon as they get up, or sometimes waking me up in the middle of the night, wouldn’t go on forever. At the time those sleep interruptions felt like worst thing in the world, but when it stops, you enjoy the quietness for a tiny moment and then… you kind of miss it.

Of course, I am still needed in other ways, for example: ‘Can you help me find my jacket?’, ‘Have you washed my jeans?’, ‘Please can you top up my lunch account?’, ‘Can we watch a film together snuggling up?’ or ‘I just need a hug’. I respond to their asks and treat each of these things as new special moments, rather than look at some of them as frustrations. I want to be there for them and don’t want them to remember me as being stressed when they look back.

Thankfully, my 2 gorgeous girls still enjoy our cuddles, and I’m in no hurry for that to stop. I really look forward to linking arms as we stroll along together or just watching them enjoying the outside world…

A day in Herne Bay last month watching the girls enjoy the sea

I will continue to hold onto the good memories and treasured moments and not taint them with frustrated thoughts.

Don’t miss the ‘small years’.

Until next time…

P.S. My eldest daughter came into my room for a cuddle this morning, which was very apt, since this blog post was just in draft at the time.

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Amidst the anger, show kindness….

Posted on October 21, 2018 by

…at all times. It’s difficult when someone in the family is angry and upset. It’s easy to join in with the party and give your opinion (because everyone wants to be right, right?) You toy with the idea that your way would have been better. She shouldn’t have said this; he shouldn’t have said that.

It would be lovely if it’s happy families all the time but in reality it isn’t. It’s inevitable that there will time of rough patches and arguments. Some last just a few minutes, some go for hours (those hours of silences), and then it’s all in the past and you go back to playing happy families.

Amidst all of that, if you are like me, you will want to know the answer to ‘How should I act right now?’ or ‘What is the best thing to do?’ I could throw my toys out of the pram, I could take it out on the person, or I could get involved (in times where I wasn’t actually involved at all).

When you’re not sure… kindness helps.

Kind words…

Kind gestures…

Cup of tea? A few crackers and cheese?

A hug?

What do you do when it’s all happening in your house?

Until next time…

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Reading posts on clutter helps

Posted on October 13, 2018 by

If you are not sure about what to do with the clutter or you feel alone, try following anyone who has tagged their post with clutter, or add hashtag clutter to your reader in WordPress. I’ve learnt so much in just 10 minutes of reading 6 or 7 blog posts on decluttering.

It also helps motivate me to find new areas to declutter or to continue with the mammoth project in the spare room.

I even got out into the garden today and helped my partner clear away the excess hedges as he trimmed them. Our recycling bin is now full giving me a sense of achievement.

Overgrown cluttered hedges

Don’t feel alone with your clutter. There are loads of us out there doing the same thing. We just need to motivate each other.

Until next time…

Posted in decluttering, Inspiration, Toys, mess and clutter | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Writing about Life as a Working Mum

Posted on October 13, 2018 by

An older, wiser mum looks back…

I’d like to think that anything that I’ve written in my journals can be kept not only for me to reflect on but also as material to help others in the future. Just the other day, I found many pages of my journal printed out with a title of ‘Me as a Working Mum’ dated back to over 9 years ago. It made quite interesting reading, particularly when I could clearly see how I’d changed since then. I am no longer rushing around raising my voice, having no idea what the best use of my time was. Instead, I’m much calmer and in control.

All of those thoughts, stresses and ideas that I poured into the computer on those manic school/nursery days, I now realise was just a way of releasing all of the negative feelings and tension that were bottled up.

Would anyone be interested in me using some of the material from my journals as a way of helping and inspiring others?

Until next time…

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Routines are becoming clearer

Posted on October 10, 2018 by

Coming up with a routine for chores and sticking to it is difficult. You can feel behind very quickly if you miss off a few tasks from the list.

Routines have been better for me since I’ve been listening to Dana K White’s 2 books: How to Manage your Home without losing your mind and Decluttering at the Speed of Life. She suggests just introducing a few routines and sticking to them every day, which seems to be working. I’m mainly sticking to the visible clutter areas.

Completely separate to that, I’ve got into the habit of logging what I’m doing every day in my family calendar. It has six columns but as there are only four of us, I devote the extra two column for chores and meal planning. Nothing fancy, I just write on there what’s been happening e.g. in the chores column for a Wednesday it could say hoovering and recycling, and in the menu column on a Friday it might say lasagne with garlic bread.

Having recorded the chores that I’ve done over the past couple of weeks, I can see patterns. This week I can see a routine forming but I’m not going to make it formal yet. I definitely won’t be getting stressed if I go through a whole weekend without cleaning the bathrooms. I’ll just whiz around with a cloth and spray on a Monday morning before work, and then try and fit in a more thorough clean mid week the following week.

Even my daughters’ rooms are looking better because they know that I’ll be nice and hoover their rooms if the floor is clear. I don’t even mind if they throw the stuff all on the bed or desk. Any stray items migrating off again, will at least fall onto a clean floor. I do like a clean floor.

Yesterday I quickly whizzed around upstairs with the hoover before work and it only took 15 mins! There was a time when just the thought of hoovering would make me not even want to start! My new(ish) hoover helps as it does such a good job of picking up the dirt with minimal effort.

Until next time…

Posted in decluttering, Household chores, Inspiration | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Decluttering the shoe cupboard

Posted on October 8, 2018 by

Have you ever watched the rest of the family kick or throw their shoes into the shoe cupboard and then close the door shut before one or both shoes fall out again? I have. I’ve probably done it myself a few times too. Sometimes the shoe gets caught in the door and you have to pick it up and throw it in again quickly before quickly shutting it firmly.

It felt good yesterday when I finally got around to pulling everything out of the cupboard and sweeping all that dirt that congregates around the shoes. I was determined to only put back what we all wear.

It wasn’t a very big job, but very necessary in keeping the decluttering phase moving forward. There’s not a lot of room in the shoe cupboard and stray items such as paint and bike locks seem to have moved in. Even though I keep most of my shoes in my wardrobe upstairs (another decluttering job for another day), I was surprised to find that a lot of them had also migrated into this messy cupboard.

After moving the things that didn’t belong in there and also half filling a charity bag with shoes, I put everything back neatly.

Let’s see how long it lasts.

Until next time…

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Decluttering vs. Organising

Posted on October 6, 2018 by

I posted a blog recently on Decluttering vs. Cleaning which explains that decluttering is about getting rid of things whereas cleaning needs to be done over and over.

This post is about understanding that you don’t need to organise whilst you are decluttering. THIS IS WHAT I’M LOVING ABOUT THE DECLUTTERING PHASE – I DONT NEED TO THINK ABOUT ORGANISING. This doesn’t mean that I don’t organise – far from it – it just means that I give myself permission to ‘not have to’.

This takes away a lot of pressure and also eliminates bad decisions about buying containers that don’t match to what you need to organise. By getting rid of things first and remaining in this phase for a while, will allow you to all of a sudden see what you’ve got left to organise.

Decluttering vs. Organising

A decluttered shelf that could still be organised better

Whilst in the decluttering phase you can also make notes about how you will be organising things e.g. if you were thinking of buying a set of drawers, start making a list of what you would put in there and keep it to one side. Chances are that as part of all of the decluttering you will find yourself with a drawer or two free and won’t need to buy anything new.

Maybe give it a try, as it’s working for me.

What have you thrown away today?

Until next time…

Posted in Getting organised, Inspiration, Toys, mess and clutter | Tagged , | 1 Comment