The morning rush

Posted on January 28, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Hi there
 
Just thought I’d share my morning with you before it’s tomorrow!  I occasionally forget how much all the rushing around in the mornings affects the girls when I say things like ‘come on, if we don’t leave in four minutes time we’re going to be late!’   It was a shock this morning when my daughter firmly replied, ‘mummy, you’re in a bad mood!’  You should have seen how quickly my whole body language and tone of voice changed whilst replying ‘mummy’s sorry, I’m not in a bad mood, I’m just running late’. 
 
Later when I dropped her off at breakfast club and after our many hugs and kisses, she wouldn’t let go of my scarf.  With less than fifteen minutes until my train I couldn’t stay any longer . As the nanny prized her hands away I noticed that her face looked so sad and I knew she was going to cry.   As I glanced back, she was being comforted by the nanny and I wished it was me cuddling her.  A few tears fell on my coat as I scurried to the car.   When I glanced back again she wasn’t looking out of the window.
 
Thankfully I was collecting her from school today so I knew it wouldn’t be too many hours until I would see her again.  Plus I was going to be picking my other daughter up first so we could meet her together.  I also forget how things have improved over the years, I used to get tears everyday as well as tantrums.  Like other mums I know that once you’ve left the nursery/club, five minutes later they are fine.
 
 My tip today:  When you are feeling in a rush, just take a step back or a couple of deep breaths.  If you really cannot slow down due to time constraints just try remaining postive instead.  You don’t realise how much the little ones are listening and learning from you. 
 
Until next time….
 
Sandra
 
 
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The conveyor belt of life

Posted on January 27, 2010 by Sandra Madeira

Hi

 

Please tell me if I’m wrong, but is it just mums who arrive home and then whilst cooking dinner, put the washing on, unload and load the dishwasher, put the children to bed, clean up yesterday’s food scraps from everywhere, get clothes/bags ready for the next day and then eat dinner whilst thinking what needs to happen next?  Only to be left with the supermarket shopping order, changing beds, checking emails (for something potentially exciting), tidying up………need I go on.  It’s a neverending cycle as explained in my upcoming book ‘Little Tips and Luxuries for Stressed and Busy Mums’ – Chapter 7, tip ref: ‘The conveyor belt of life’ (www.tipsandluxuries.com).

 

Please write to me and tell me that dads do these things too.  Not sure if I’ll ever be able to perfect the skill of directing the children to bed from the armchair .  Might be worth a try a few nights a week to gain some extra time, but then I’d miss story time and kisses and cuddles at bedtime which I love so much.  It’s that thirty minutes or so quality time every night with my girls that is priceless.

 

If you remember my blog from Saturday (A lazy start to Saturday), I’m still walking over/passed the mess and clutter around. The only downside is that I could have invited a friend round for a cup of tea yesterday (she’ll know who she is when she reads this), but I was embarrassed about the mess .  Might be time for a thirty minute whizz around tonight doing an ‘evening clean’ as opposed to ‘spring clean’. 

 

 My tip today:  Enjoy those special moments and miss out some of the other chores, or give yourself a time limit to do them. 

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After a lazy start to Saturday…

Posted on January 23, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Good evening
 
I just couldn’t get going this morning which is unlike me and I was able to walk around the house not worrying about the mess everywhere.  Every room had stuff all over the floor, including toys, clothes, papers and general clutter.  Also the bathrooms needed cleaning and the kitchen was in need of a miracle. 
 
Now it’s the end of the day and I’m glad I only did what was important.  First thing this morning I just cuddled the girls on the settee whilst they watched Humf etc.  Then to get some energy (and some shopping) I did one of my fast walks to the supermarket.  The round trip took me around forty minutes, only stopping for ten minutes to whiz around pick things up from the shelves and pay for them.  I felt a lot better (but hot) once I’d returned home.  Calling my fiance on the way home to put the sausages under the grill was also a good idea, as lunch was ready soon after I arrived back (with fresh bread).
 
This afternoon I decided to split my time between the girls and took my eldest into town as I needed to run some errands.  We went to Waterstones where she chose a book for herself and her sister.  They had a little table in there so she could look through the books to decide which ones she wanted.
 
Once home, I took my youngest to the nearby park.  After I’d pushed her on the swing, she loved sitting on the bench eating her little packet of dried apricots which she loves.  It was quite calming being a quiet and still afternoon and we had a lovely little chat.  
 
I then did the important things only – make dinner, put the dishwasher on, do two lots of washing, take the rubbish out and put the girls to bed, but I left everything else.  I could have stressed myself out fitting everything else in, but then I wouldn’t feel as calm as I do now.  I even managed to fit in some of my open university course work this evening, so that I’m not rushing it last minute when the deadline hits next week.  There was still enough room at the day for quality time with my fiance.
 
My tip to you today: You can always do the chores, but sitting down for a moment and thinking ‘how can I spend my next hour?’ and making the best use of your busy time, is something worth doing before rushing in attacking the surrounding clutter and chaos.  Whenever I’ve had quality time with the family, it always sticks in my mind and makes me smile more than the chores I did.  It’s just taken me too many years to realise this.   
 
Until next time…
 
Sandra
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Catching up with recycling

Posted on January 16, 2010 by Sandra Madeira

Hi

It’s surprising how the recycling mounts up.  By clearing it once a week, I usually manage to stay on top of it, but due to the snow on the ground and generally being busy, I haven’t visited the recycling area in the supermarket car park since the middle of December.  We can put cardboard in our green bin but that’s full at the moment.  Also due to the amount of bottles in the kitchen, I had been storing some in my car, but it was getting the point that I soon wouldn’t have been able to fit the children in!  So………..this morning I recycled 128 plastic bottles, a stack of cardboard and quite a few glass bottles. 

The system I use to hold our recycling is shown in the picture below (taken after catching up with the backlog of recycling).  Before I bought these bags I just used to stack everything up in the corner of the kitchen or throw bottles, packaging etc in an ugly brown cardboard box.  One of the benefits of the recycling bags is that you can either clip the bags together or just store them separately.  They also have handles so are easy to carry to the car or recycling bins.  The colours are a bit bold but I think you can get more neutral ones.  They’ll do for now; I like having a designated place for things and it’s clear to everyone else where the recycling goes.

Hi

Until next time….
Sandra
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Exercise regime back on track

Posted on January 14, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Hi
 
My wellies are getting put to good use, walking to my daughter’s school in the snow for the fourth time this week (which I might add, I have loved every minute of).  This is my second day off now and today was a ‘me day’.  My exercise regime has taken a bit of a back seat recently what with the hernia repair last year, dark mornings, a busy christmas and the recent snow.  I still do the odd walk, some yoga and Pilates but not as much as in the summer and autumn.  Having said that, all this walking in the snow is doing me good (see picture below taken today) and I even dusted off the cover of the Davina McCall – Power of 3 exercise DVD today and did the ‘legs and bums’ section, jumping on my new trampoline in the one minute intervals.  The energy I had after that was unbelievable.  It’s amazing how you can say to yourself ‘I can’t be bothered’ and then feel so good afterwards.  It’s all about taking that first step again.  Don’t think about it, just do it.
 
At this rate my pristine new Christmas bike might even make a journey from the lounge to the cycle path outside.  However, I need to purchase a crash helmet first – very important – as I haven’t ridden a bike for a very long time and I seem to remember falling off the last time I was on one!
 
My tip to you is a very important saying that I still remember from my Jerry Hall Yogacise video (with Vimla Lalvani) that I purchased about seventeen years ago; ‘The more energy you use, the more energy you will have’.  Get on that bike that’s in the garage, put your trainers on and go for a power walk or run, or dig out the old exercise DVDs or videos.  It’s inexpensive and once you have a routine going, you’ll feel good in no time.
 
Until next time……
 
Sandra
 
 
There’s a path there somewhere!
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A few days off

Posted on January 12, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Hi
 
I’m in a very good mood.  I’m sitting by the fire in the lounge with music on in the background and there’s no pressure to do anything else right now.  I’m not at work until Monday which means that I have five full days of fun and relaxation.  I’ve nothing in particular planned apart from quality time with my fiance and the girls, lunch round a friends and one day to myself.   I’m hoping to get plenty of potter time round the house as well, so should get some clutter sorted out.  I must also continue with my Open University psychology course as my next assignment is due next week.   I am really enjoying the course and got great feedback for the first assignment. 
 
Anyway, I must continue in relax mode!
 
Until next time….
 
Sandra 
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Clearing up the mess

Posted on January 3, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Hi
 
Just had a breakthrough when asking my three year old put the pens back in the pot.  She didn’t seem interested and obviously said no.  I asked again, nicely.  She looked at the mess and said ‘it’s too much.’  So I said ‘put half of it away then,’ which didn’t seem so onerous to her. 
 
A few moments later, she returned back to my lap and said ‘mummy, I’ve put them all away’.
 
My tip is for getting others to help and also helping yourself with clutter and mess problems is to break tasks down into smaller pieces.  Each small step can lead you nearer to your goal.
 
Until next time….
 
Sandra
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Is ironing everything really that important?

Posted on January 2, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Hi
 
I really don’t believe everything has to be ironed and try to stick to my 30 minute limit a week for what I think needs ironing.  Nevertheless there are times when the pile gets too much and in order to catch up with things, I make the decision that I’m not doing any of it and put it all away.  The creases have more chance of falling out when the item is hanging up anyway. 
 
Due to the last few weeks being so busy with Christmas, studying, work etc, the piles of clothes that needed putting away and the pile of ironing in the spare room had been less of a priority in my eyes.  It hadn’t got completely out of control as there was some sort of organised mess going; the piles at least meant something to me. 
 
Just before putting the girls to bed today, I announced that we were going to put all of their clothes away without ironing them.  I wasn’t sure of their reaction about helping as they are seldom as enthusiastic as me about putting things away.  However, I must have picked a good moment because after promising an extra story and couple of stickers at bedtime, my eldest started throwing all sorts of coathangers out of her wardrobe and the youngest copied.  Getting them to sort different types and colours of coathangers into piles seemed to spark their interest – it sometimes doesn’t take much.  Then we made up different names for the coathangers which made them laugh.
 
Within no time at all, I had them sorting and hanging.  We really had a good little system going and they actually seemed to be enjoying it.  I was so proud of them and made sure I gave them lots of praise.  It did get slightly tense when one of them tried to hang the other’s tops up and my eldest expressed quite loudly that she wanted to do it herself.  A quick diversion to get the youngest to brush her teeth before storytime seemed to help.
 
This did delay bedtime slightly and with only one clear day left before they go back to nursery and school, I really didn’t want them to have a late night.  However we were all happily reading stories by 8pm (not too late).  We actually took turns in reading (or in their case making up) one story each.  It was absolutely lovely.  Precious moments like these will stay with me forever and tomorrow there is no ironing to do apart from school uniform items!  That means more time with the family.
 
Until next time………..
 
Sandra 
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Happy New Year with a hangover

Posted on January 1, 2010 by Sandra Madeira
Hi
 
What better way to start the new year, but with a hangover – I think not!  It doesn’t help if your partner has a hangover too and the children are full of the joys of Spring (as the famous idiom goes). 
 
We were only going to pop out for a drink in a local pub last night and weren’t even sure if we’d be allowed in as we hadn’t bought tickets.  Walking there in the snow at sub zero temperatures was bitterly cold, but once in, we had a great time listening to the band and carefully filling ourselves up with alcohol.  However, we made sure we were back before midnight to see the year in with my mum and dad and our girls.  Biscuits and Baileys were handed out, although the girls stuck to orange juice being only three and five! 
 
It must have been the Baileys on top of the previously drunk wine, which caused me to throw up several times in the night.  Not a nice feeling and it’s funny how you swear that you will never drink again after a night like that (and I didn’t even drink that much).  It’s also funny how being a parent makes you say things like ‘I prefer not to drink these days’.  I do enjoy just a small glass of red wine witth my dinner now and again which is enough to get me tispy but leave no hangover, leaving me to enjoy the next day much better.  
 
After a morning of lounging around asking everyone to be quiet, I got up, made lunch (scrambled eggs, which I had heard were good for hangovers) then was determined to have a fun afternoon with the girls.  We first went for a walk to the park.  Being a bright sunny but cold and crisp day, we made sure we were wrapped up warm.  The swings seats must have been cold for the girls but they didn’t complain, they just threw their laughter across the park which I thoroughly enjoyed.  Then we sat on a bench to share a milky bar which I managed to magic out of nowhere.  After a skip back home, they did colouring with their new drawing sets they got for Christmas whilst I made a roast chicken dinner.  Delicious.  They chose their pudding – chocolate digestives, but unfortunately we didn’t have any (as they were eaten last night).  I suddenly had an idea – I got them to choose a topping for a plain digestive biscuit.  One chose chocolate spread and the other jam.  They were smiling like anything, so I took a photo to put in their new special diaires that I’d bought them.
 
The girls are now tucked up in their beds and I have asked for an hour to myself before my fiance and I curl up and watch a nice film.  Well, that’s what I’d like to do anyway.  Fortunately I feel like I am back to normal now.  The milk thistle tablets helped too as they protect your liver, although I think you are supposed to take them before you go drinking.
 
Must sign off now, have lots to do.  The bonus is, that because new year’s day has fallen on a Friday, I still have the weekend to go before I return to work.  Fantastic!  Looking foward to day two of the new year.
 
Until next time….
 
Sandra   
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Stress reduction for busy mums

Posted on December 21, 2009 by Sandra Madeira

Hi

I wouldn’t have started my book ‘Little Tips and Luxuries for Stressed and Busy Mums’ if things were going smoothly all the time.  I’m now six months in to writing it and although I have sent a synopsis to some agents and have currently written c29,000 words of the book (only c11,000 to go) I haven’t had any time to pick it up in the last three weeks. 

Reasons:  lots of them, including working full-time, trying to complete assignment one from my Open University ‘starting with psychology’ course, managing a house and family, head lice and unexpected snow.  Then there’s Christmas including parties for all of us, presents to be bought and wrapped, project deadlines at work, not to mention less sleep because of trying to fit everything in!  Need I go on?  I’d read my book, although I can’t find the time. 

On the positive side, I applied a few of my tips in the process, one of them being ‘only do what’s important and don’t let anything get in the way of having fun with the family’  Also the cute little smile on my darling three year old daughter’s face the other day when she said ‘that red top looks lovely on you’ was enough to make me stop in my tracks just to give her a cuddle.

Sandra

www.tipsandluxuries.com

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