It’s been an intense couple of days in the house with all the decorating so I thought I’d change the focus to writing about the beauty in our garden.
At the beginning of lockdown there wasn’t a single flower in our garden. In fact over the years there have only been a few flowers, as we didn’t have much time to focus on maintenance. Those plants are still there because they obviously didn’t need much attention.
Having spent more time at home recently, I’ve been able to sow a few seeds and watch them grow. In the last few weeks flowers have started to pop up all over the place. My youngest has been religiously watering the plants for me in both the conservatory and the garden. Most can be planted outside now.
The flowers shown in the above photo are all from our garden in the last few days. Some old plants and some new. I’m looking forward to seeing more flowers over the summer months and also creating more space in the borders, tubs and hanging baskets for the plants that I’ve been growing from seed.
When there’s decorating going on in one room it tends to impact other nearby rooms. Ones that were already decluttered and tidy. What I’m finding in lockdown is that we are mostly working well together but occasionally my goals (or projects in this case) clash with theirs.
Let’s take decorating the lounge as an example…What do you do when your goal is to create space and order, and all around you is mess from decorating? Here are a few possible options that I came up with:
Be patient and positive knowing that someone else’s parallel goal is in progress, which will eventually bring us all to the same overall goal.
Be present in the mess and be okay with it. This is all part of the journey.
Go somewhere tidy to feel better
Go somewhere that needs tidying and create space and order
Being realistic when feeling stressed about the mess
Knowing that there’s a decorating project going on that you’re not leading, makes it impossible to work on your goal (create space and order in my case) in that particular area/room. So, the key is to either go somewhere where there is space and order i.e. outside, another room etc., or go somewhere where you can create space and order to make yourself feel better.
So, what did I do?
I need to learn to be okay with mess when I’m not in control of it. So, I tried to help the girls finish painting but kept noticing paint on the wooden floor where the protective covering had moved. They promised me that they would clean it up, so I tried to ignore it and helped instead by finding some more protective sheets to prevent more mess. I started getting in their way after that (and I was feeling anxious) so I decided to go somewhere else in the house to move forward with my goal of creating space and order. I knew that it would improve my state of mind.
Off to the garage
A voice in my head told me to go into the garage (my cluttered hideaway) where I would instantly be motivated to tidy something without anyone messing it up again. (There’s that I control feeling again).
To lift my mood, I stepped up and down on the aerobic step to a song that was playing on the radio. As I faced the back wall, I spotted the messy open shelves. They were hidden behind boxes last week and being exposed now, I could see that they needed some order. I knew that tidying a couple of them would help me to create space and order and allow me to go back into the house with a more positive frame of mind.
Revised 2020 challenge/goal
To create space and order in my house, my garden and my mind
I’ve added the words and order because I’ve realised that (for me) creating space without order hasn’t really been working. If the order is not there, things tend to go back how they were.
Appreciating the work done
The girls have worked really hard all day and the lounge walls are now completely painted apart from the skirting boards and coving which my husband and I said that we’d do another time (or get someone else to do it when we get the ceiling done one day).
The girls were so exhausted from all the painting over the last few days as it’s a big room, but they are pleased that it’s done. I made them some dinner followed by an apple pie…
We all helped to clean up the lounge, push the furniture back and put the mirror back on the wall. It made the room look really spacious and bright. We have space and order once again in that room!
The rest of the downstairs is an absolute mess but I know that the girls will help with that. I’m working for the rest of the week so it will have to be done bit my bit. I’m trying to be okay with that.
Added note: The funny thing is that I couldn’t post this blog last night because the internet was down for maintenance so I went to bed earlier. This morning the sun shone through the windows making me feel energised. The mess didn’t look so bad and I felt a lot more positive about how we would all work together to make downstairs look tidy again. It was nice to be able to add that bit to the post this morning.
I sometimes find that if I wake up feeling happy and want that feeling to be with me all day, I just need to spend a little bit of time alone. This seals the happiness in. It could be a walk or a morning meditation, but this morning I chose to have my breakfast alone in the garden. The girls had no idea that these thoughts were going around in my head, but later told me that they looked out of their windows and thought about coming out to see me but decided to let me have some me-time. They are so sweet and thoughtful.
Trip to the DIY store
After a quick phone call to B&Q this morning, I learnt that the paint that we’d decided on yesterday had been discontinued. So, my eldest daughter and I went to the store to see if we could find something similar. We stood in a queue with 2m social distancing markers and it took about ten minutes to get in. It was all very organised in there and we came out with ten tester pots.
Tester pots
Deciding on the colour paint
The girls painted small squares of each colour on the wall and after it had dried we all stepped back to take a look. The majority decision was White Mist and I drove back to B&Q to get a couple of tins. Luckily they were in stock! When I got home the girls put some music on and got straight to work. They looked so happy painting together, so I left them to it and went to do some gardening.
Making room for the bins in the garden
I tackled the low hanging branches and the overgrown bush that was making it difficult to walk down the side of the house. The path was cluttered with unwanted items that I’ve been storing down there until I can get rid of them. I tidied them up in the far corner and then swept up all of the leaves making a lot more space to walk up and down.
I discovered a lovely pebble and soil area next to the old shed that had been covered with leaves and rubbish. After clearing it away, I had an idea that the bins would fit nicely there, as it is tucked away and can’t be seen the from the house. The two bins fitted perfectly side by side.
I also found an old wooden garden chair which I nearly fell through when I sat on it. A bit dangerous! As there’s no way of getting rid of it at the moment, I used it to put some plant pots on, making a nice little area next to the new climbing plants, tree and bush. The girls came out and said that it looked really tidy. They put the table and chairs nearby which is where I sat to write this (with a glass of prosecco, of course). Before and after photos below…
Before clearing After clearing
Finishing the day with a takeaway pizza
As the girls had worked so hard getting half of the room painted, my husband and I helped them clear up and we ordered a Dominos pizza. As we ate it together in the lounge, we commented that the lighter walls on just one side have already made the room feel brighter and airier.
There’s a lot left to do. Further updates tomorrow when we’ve made some more progress.
We had a pocket door fitted in the lounge a few years ago and never got round to painting the plastered wall, mainly because we wanted to change the colour scheme of the whole room ‘one day’. It just never seemed to be a priority.
The girls have been asking us recently if they can paint the walls a lighter colour and we’ve been saying that we would prefer to get someone in to do some decorating after lockdown and get them to do some other DIY jobs as well. The girls eventually persuaded us today to let them paint the one plastered wall in the lounge.
I really didn’t want the mess of the paint everywhere and thought about the small areas of sanding down that needed doing as well. I also really felt like doing some gardening as it was a nice day. It was one of those moments where I could have either got stressed or decide to go with the flow. I chose the latter.
We tried a compromise. My husband said that he would supervise the girls doing the sanding and painting, and I said that I’d be available if any of them needed anything. They needed me quite a bit at first to find a number of things: old sheets for the floor, old shirts to protect their clothes, sand paper, paint, brushes, a pot to mix the watered down paint in (for the plastered wall), a plastic jug for measurements of the watered down paint, and some masking tape.
I didn’t think that we had any white paint and was about to go out to the shops when I found some in the garage whilst I was looking for the other items.
We also found some tester pots of paint and one of them was the kind of colour we wanted for the whole room. The girls painted a square on the wall to see if it looked any good and thankfully we all liked it. Hopefully the shop still sell it!
They did a great job of painting, and my husband and the girls all cleared up afterwards.
I’ll be social distancing in B&Q tomorrow to see if I can get a tin of the chosen colour paint (Victorian Lace). The girls are very excited about painting the whole room. If we had the paint today, I think they would have carried on into the evening.
A little bit more time in the garage
After looking for the paint and other bits in the garage this morning, it got me motivated to go back in there, after I’d done some gardening. I spend an hour or so sorting out the shelves where I’d found the paints.
I also found an aerobics step under some boxes. My mum and dad gave it to me when they moved house a couple of years ago. I stepped up and down on it to the motivating music on the radio.
Dinner time
Sometimes it’s easier to get a takeaway when you’ve been working hard all day, but we didn’t succumb to that temptation today. My husband and youngest daughter cooked chicken with egg fried rice and it was done in no time. We all said how much better it was for us then getting a takeaway (and cheaper).
I could see the sun peeping through the curtains when I woke up this morning. I knew that a brisk walk would make me feel better and hopefully help my neck and headache that I’ve had for a couple of days. I was out for 45 minutes which certainly blew away a few cobwebs and made me feel good.
I really didn’t feel like sitting around again for another day nursing my head, so after breakfast I popped into the garage to see if I could make some progress. As soon as I walked in, I just knew that I could easily spend most of the day in there getting things done. The mess and lack of space makes it a place that no one else (apart from me) wants to be, so it doubles up as a nice little hideaway.
Music is a motivator
I was listening to an audio book at first, but then I stumbled upon on an old radio. I found a station that mostly had non-stop music. Almost every song was one that I could sing and dance along to. Music is such a great motivator for me so I started getting things done a lot quicker.
Help arrived but not for long
The girls came in after about an hour to see where I was, but they soon got bored as there wasn’t much they could help with apart from breaking up a cathedral made of cardboard that one of them made many years ago for a school project. Although I’ve been trying to keep it safe, it had a got a bit battered and dusty. It suddenly didn’t seem as sentimental to us as it used to. We took a couple of photos before destroying it.
The girls left me to carry on because they knew I’d be more productive without them there. There’s something quite therapeutic about going through boxes of old stuff from different phases of my life. What I didn’t realise until this point was that my headache had completely gone (probably went with the clutter). I spent a few hours bagging things up for charity and throwing other stuff away. I ended up with two bags of rubbish, five charity bags and a whole pile of cardboard and other recycling.
Decluttering the garage
I can’t explain how happy I felt going through boxes, throwing things away and moving things around for later sorting. All very satisfying.
I have been feeling the stress in my neck and shoulders again this weekend; the type that gives me a headache and nausea feeling. I think that’s three weekends on the trot. I went to have a lie down mid morning after the grocery shopping had arrived and whilst I was doing that my eldest daughter surprised me by tackling one of the clutter castles in the kitchen. She knew how I would want to go through every single piece of paper, so she put things in separate piles to talk to me about when I came downstairs.
Once we’d finished that, I thought that a relaxing bath would be a good idea, but remembered the bath needed cleaning. So, both of my lovely girls said that they would help to clean the bathroom first. I showed them what to do and before I knew it we had a clean bath, surfaces and toilet. There was also a nice pile of empty bottles for recycling.
The girls ran me a bubble bath and lit some candles and let me to have an hour to myself, listening to calming music and mindfulness tracks. I also had a flick through a couple of little books that I have about relaxing.
The headache hadn’t gone away by teatime so I asked my youngest to type up this blog for me. As I dictated, the two of us came up with today’s post. The title was originally called ‘Delegating the Cleaning, Decluttering and Writing to my Girls’, but my eldest thought that ‘The Not So Perfect, Perfect Day’ sounded better, so we decided to change it. We then cuddled up in my bed and watched a film.
A very relaxing day
Although I have given myself a day off to relax, I have still got some decluttering and cleaning done so you could say that I am learning to delegate. This is something that I am not usually good at, as I like to keep control of everything. Maybe this could be part of the new weekend routine. They seemed quite happy when I suggested that.
Today was one of those days where I was on a work call one minute, and the next thing I know I was being called into the lounge to help my eldest teen move furniture around. I had no intention of pulling the TV cabinet out and cleaning behind it today… I mean, who does that in the middle of a working day?
There was no stopping her; she was in a cleaning mood. As I had a work call to make, she got her sister (my youngest teen) to help. There was a lot of unplugging going on, as well as dusting, wiping down skirting boards and surfaces, moving shelves in the cabinet, and removing the AV unit and speakers (which haven’t worked for a while).
It was a bit embarrassing when she asked me when the unit had last been pulled out and cleaned behind (ahem… I have absolutely no idea). When she put everything back, there was a lot more space and no clutter or dirt. Perfect!
After clearing space and cleaning
Unfortunately I had to carry on working this afternoon and my husband wanted to switch Sky TV back on and spend time in the lounge, so we never got to go back and finish cleaning the room. What my girls did today though was fantastic and, just like yesterday, I was feeling very grateful to my new little helpers.
It’s bank holiday weekend now and my daughter has asked me if she can help clean the bathrooms tomorrow. She’s definitely keeping me on my toes at the moment. I’m going with the flow with this one.
Now that my eldest teen has started tidying up more in the kitchen and dining room, I have to be careful what I leave lying around in case she moves it. I’ve always been in charge (control) of the clutter and mess so it’s been all too easy to let things stay where they were until I had time to move them. The only pressure I got was the pressure that I put on myself.
After dinner this evening my daughter got quite annoyed that no one cleared the table and put the plates in the dishwasher. After working all day and cooking dinner all I wanted to do was put my feet up; however, I felt that I owed it to her to help, so that she felt supported with her new process. She was happy and I was very grateful.
Is this new help going to help me (and everyone else) not leave things lying around? I hope so.
This is a strange place for me to be in, as I’ve always tried to do it all without asking for help. It’s certainly making me think twice now when I say to myself ‘I’ll just put that there,’ or ‘I’ll do that later’.
If this help continues consistently, I think we’ll all be in a better place before the end of lockdown and I’ll be able to move towards my goal a lot quicker. I just need to relinquish the control that I have over it all which is the hardest part for me to do.
I still wouldn’t feel comfortable with anyone touching or moving the stuff in the garage or spare room! That’s a whole other story.
I woke up this morning determined to be positive about the day. It’s not that I’m not normally positive, it’s just that there’s a lot going on at the moment and sometimes I need to reflect on things by myself and clear the mental clutter before I face anyone else. What also helps is when I stumble upon blogs, articles, tweets that inspirational words get me thinking about things from a different perspective.
One particular thing that inspired me today was reading a few posts on KalvinFive’s Thought Journal and the second one was a tweet question from one of my favourite authors Jack Canfield. The question on the tweet was ‘What are some things that make you the happiest?’ Off the top of my head (in the midst of lockdown) here are some of the things on my list:
Waking up to a new day to see what it brings
Writing to inspire others
Creating space in my mind to grow
Getting to know my family better by listening more
Calling someone to find out if they are ok
Pottering around the garden (when the weather is nice this sort of replaces housework and it’s very easy to let your mind wander)
Finding healthy recipes that are easy to make and taste really good (and I didn’t really enjoy cooking before lockdown)
Being inspired by someone else’s words whether it be a text, blog, article or book
After work, I spent some time pottering around in the garden and made some space for the plants that I picked up from the supermarket yesterday. I got a bargain whilst walking down the fruit and veg aisle… three climbing plants for £5.
My daughter wanted to help in the garden, so we worked together to decide where they should go and then I showed her how to plant them. The two jasmine plants went in the area that I tidied last week where the wooden trellis is on the wall. A perfect place for them to eventually climb up.
Jasmine plant
We then planted the clematis in the wooden trellis box.
Clematis plant
Getting out for a bit of exercise
Views from our walks this week
I’ve managed to get out for a lunchtime walk with my husband two days running now and the weather has been fantastic. There are definitely more people about, but then we are all allowed to have unlimited exercise now. It’s still very important to stick to the social distancing rules though.
I was surprised to see Costa open, but not so surprised to see a queue outside. I suppose it’s a treat for those that like it, although I’m not a coffee drinker myself.
Sandra Madeira 